29 November 2012

Blissfully Waiting?

Hello Everyone,

It has now been 2 weeks since we were given the go ahead for IVF and we still haven't received our letter. I have asked the IVF group on BabyCentre how long they had to wait for their letters and to be honest it was a bit of a mixed bag. Most were waiting about a month though so that has made me relax a bit more, but i think i will follow the advice of one of the ladies and call the clinic late next week to see if it is all running smoothly. Hopefully they won't think i'm annoying!
Phil and I have had a lovely break this month from everything baby-making related, i just felt that we needed to stop making it all about having a baby and start it off nice and fresh, with only 'having a good' time the reason why. It has made me more relaxed, im not testing ovulation, shoving thermometers where they are not welcome, putting my legs up in the air instead of having a cuddle! I am now only a few days away from AF (Aunt Flo) and quite frankly, i welcome her!
As for my BMI, its not going too well, i have been sick with a pretty bad cold this last week and as such haven't been able to do all of my night-time walks. We really need to kick that up a gear so i can lose as much weight as possible before our appointment at the clinic. There are no excuses fatty!
In light of trying to lose weight we have also started trying new, healthy foods, lentils are disgusting... yes there is a chance im cooking them wrong, but they honestly taste like dry skin. Goji berries are apparently good for weight loss and male fertility, so that is 2 birds, 1 stone. However, they do not taste all that great either. We have (grudgingly) been putting them with our cereal in the morning. We are soldiering on!
Why is it that most things that are healthy for us taste awful?
My lovely friend Lauren also gave me some decaf tea to try out as i really need to reduce the amount of caffeine i drink and it wasn't too bad! It might take a few cups to get used to it but im sure i will learn to love it, just like i love green tea.
Speaking of which, time to put the kettle on!

Take Care All xxx

23 November 2012

Musings

Hello Everyone,

Well it has been over a week since we were given the go ahead for IVF and i have had periods of not thinking about it and then there have been times when it is all i think about, for hours.

Today is one of those days...

I have been imagining our little babies (for some reason i have the feeling that i will have twins, i have always felt this way, a boy named William and a girl named Emma, yep... i am crazy) running around our home, making a mess, sleeping, laughing. When i have been driving i have been imagining them in their little car seats in the back, and whilst it is absolutely mad i have found myself having a secret smile to myself.

I keep imagining being pregnant, knowing the babies are in there, safe, protected, loved so very much. I imagine us both cosying up on the sofa, hands on belly, smiles on faces...

Even though i am yet to have a child i still feel the enormous sensation to protect them, although they are still only a thought the sensation is so strong that i am half a second away from building a fort! God knows what it will be like when they are actually here, or worse still, when i am pregnant!

The chances of us getting pregnant first time on IVF are slim, but still possible. I am so desperate for us to be finally lucky. We really are due for a bit of luck.

I really can't wait to be pregnant, i know a lot of women complain about being pregnant and i'm not about to say that i won't, as i'm sure there will be testing times, however i know that i will try to cherish every single moment. We have been waiting so long now how could i not?

I am finding it so hard to not look at baby stuff, prams, cots, bed linen etc, i know i have got to try and not get my hopes up, but at the same time why not? Why can't i get excited? I can't wait for the moment i see those 2 little lines that i so crave for, telling me that finally we have been blessed, we deserve it so much. I don't know what i would do next, probably cry... actually, definitely cry! How am i supposed to keep it a secret from my close family and friends for 12 whole weeks? That is near on impossible!

We are still waiting on our letter from Bourn Hall to invite us to an open day. It's crappy timing really as we are going to Centre Parcs in February next year with our friends and sods law is that the time for us to start the process will be February. What will we do then? Put our options in a hat and pick one out? Fingers crossed it will be January or March/April time, although that will then (hopefully) create a December baby, which is not ideal, but then... beggars can't be choosers. Urgh, my head is such a blur of 'what ifs'. Things will be so much better once that letter is here.

Our blood tests went really well, i usually have them at my doctors but this time we had them at the hospital and wow... i barely felt a thing, Phil (unfortunately) felt nothing and i haven't really developed a bruise. I can't believe it!

I guess now all that is left to do is wait... more blooming waiting. I'm a pro now!

Take Care All xxx

19 November 2012

A Fresh Start

Hello Everyone,

I first started this blog a few years ago when my husband Phil and I decided we would like to try for a little baby. However almost 3 years have now past and we are still childless, but we have just been given the go ahead for IVF.

Alongside this i am also trying to lose weight, to get myself to a healthy BMI, i am a bit fed up of being a tubster now.

I guess that will be what this blog mostly covers really, as well as some random things i expect!

I wanted to write this blog as a record of my thoughts and feelings during this testing time, and for those of you who have not found it easy to pro-create will know that it can be turbulent. Phil and I have been through all the necessary tests, and while i appear to be fine unfortunately Phil's soldiers are not performing as they should. He has a low morphology rate of 2% and some of those that are ok don't wish to find the elusive egg.

Lazy little buggers...

So here we go, first things first we have our blood tests this coming Wednesday, those are for Hep B + C and HIV, plus i also need a Full Blood Count. It is safe to say that i hate blood tests, absolutely detest them. I often faint and they always leave me with a huge bruise on my arm. So i was devilishly pleased when our consultant at the hospital said that Phil will also have to have the tests. Finally! Some pain for him throughout all of this. I have had to have all sorts of tests and procedures so its about time he felt some too!!! Ha ha ha!

Meanwhile we are waiting for our consultation appointment to discuss everything at the fertility clinic we have chosen. It is called Bourn Hall, and it is in Cambridge. I have had a little snoop around on the clinic's website and was delighted to find out that it was the very first IVF clinic in the world! Louise Brown the first test-tube baby was conceived there! How fantastic is that? I am full of the confidence that i have really lacked these past few years and i truely hope that we will get our baby(s) first time...

Fingers crossed...

I suppose i shall end now by saying that i hope to update this blog on a regular basis, we shall see how it goes!

Take Care All xxx