Well i really did not expect to be writing anything more on my blog. We really believed that our baby days were done, and that our beautiful Emma would be our one and only.
Some of you many remember that this time last year we had our second and last attempt at IVF, this time being a FET (frozen embryo transfer), which worked but then i lost them... then before a month went by we were somehow pregnant still/again. However after weeks of monitoring and scans at our EPU (early pregnancy unit) the little one just was not progressing, and i lost that one too...
It has taken me a while but i have decided to delete the posts i had written with regards to what happened last year. I just cannot face them. So i am sorry, but that part of our past has been erased from reality, though never from memory.
In September of last year we agreed that we would not be able to go through IVF again, but that we would just continue to try for a baby, take our supplements and hope for the best. In the meantime we would still live our lives, make plans and enjoy our family life that we are so blessed to have. Plus we got in contact with a breeder to get a little kitten, who we finally brought home at the beginning of June!
We booked a holiday for April 2018 and were just going to see what life would bring us.
Fast forward almost a year to the day that we lost the FET pregnancy and i had what i assumed was my period starting on the Friday morning. My period was expect to come on the Saturday so i wasn't surprised to see it. However by Sunday night it had not arrived so i decided on the Monday morning that i would do a pregnancy test.
On Monday morning i called Phil into the bathroom and thrust the test in his face. By some miracle, after just 10 months of trying we were PREGNANT!
Instant panic set in. How can we go through it all again? How can we deal with the possibility of another loss? I felt so scared. Phil was calm and in disbelief. Wow...
The day after i called the EPU to arrange the early reassurance scan that they had wanted us to organise if we were to fall pregnant again, and they booked me in for the 6th July. When i should be 7 weeks 3 days. At that time i was only 4 weeks 1 day, so had an eternity to wait.
About a week later, amongst all the other regular symptoms i was having, i started to feel an ache in my shoulder. Then the morning after i came across very faint and very nauseous all of a sudden. I phoned the EPU and they booked me in for a scan that day, 5 hours later, for fear of an Ectopic pregnancy.
Phil and i got to the hospital and there is a dreadful sadness you feel when you are recognised in the EPU. You wish they were strangers to you, but sometimes that is not the case. They confirmed my details and agreed that by my LMP (last menstrual period) date i would be 5 weeks 3 days at that point. She did warn that they were just looking to see that the GS (gestational sac) was in the correct place, and that it would likely still be empty at this stage.
We got into the scan room and the lady used the ever delightful probe and instantly found our beautiful GS. In the right place, and at 5 weeks growth.
Phil was naughty and took a sneaky picture:
The GS is slightly smaller than expected and has put me back by 3 days, but the nurse said that was normal and embryos grow at different rates at this early stage in pregnancy, so told me not to worry. This is why they don't normally scan so early on, because it can worry and confuse people unnecessarily. She said that we will keep our 6th July appointment and by then will hopefully see our beautiful little miracle growing well.
Until then all we can do is take each day as it comes and try to keep as calm as possible.
Take Care All xxx